


Norwegian Nights

by Weelderig_Waardeloos



Series: Norwegian Nights [1]
Category: Eurovision Song Contest
Genre: Eurovision, Fanfiction, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-25
Updated: 2009-04-25
Packaged: 2017-10-13 11:41:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/136946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weelderig_Waardeloos/pseuds/Weelderig_Waardeloos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tale of the Eurovision song contest...</p><p>(Set in Eurovision 2010, however, these stories have been backdated to 2008/2009 as I don't want my long long series covering up other peoples fanfictions)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Norwegian Nights

Snow fell down all around the Norwegian capital. The trees blew gently in the wind, and all was covered in a thin sheet of snow.  
A coach pulled up in front of the Oslo Arena. The coach was painted in the colours of the German flag, and stood out immeadiatly in the blizzard around them.  
"Why do you pack so much crap, Lena?" Stefan Raab snapped as he took a lampshade out of the boot of the coach.  
Lena simply giggled and went into the Oslo Arena entrance, into the main hall, where most of the other entries where waiting, the others were around the stadium practising.  
Harel Skaat was sitting on a chair by himself, most of the other acts had their support with them by now.  
The Israeli cast an uneasy look at the German, perhaps reminded of the events that took place so long ago.  
Mistaking this threatening glance as a friendly hello, Lena went over and sat on the chair next to him.  
"Hello!" Lena beamed.  
"H...hello..." said the Israeli uneasily.  
"Nice to meet you!" Lena smiled at Harel.  
"Uh.. nice to meet you too,"  
Just then, Stefan burst through the door.  
"Hey everyone!" Stefan said as he made his way to where Lena and Harel were.  
Stefan noticed the menacing gaze he received from the Israeli, and suggested to Lena that perhaps it was time to leave and go and practise on the stage.  
"But we've only just met!" Lena protested.  
"No no, it's quite alright," Harel said, giving another piercing gaze to Stefan, "You two go right ahead."  
"God damn it Stefan!" said Lena, "We still should have time to greet the others!"  
"Ah, there's plenty of time for that, come on, this way."  
As they were walking to the door, they saw Gjoko Taneski hanging around, talking to the Russian entry.  
The friendly but forgettable Macedonian came over to greet them both.  
"Hello there!" Gjoko said.  
"Hey!" Lena said, "Nice to meet you!"  
That was her standard greeting that she used with pretty much everyone.  
"I...I really like your entry," Gjoko smiled at her.  
"Thanks! I like yours too! Especially the rapping part... that was awesome!"  
They both giggled at this comment, until Stefan decided to break up the conversation.  
"Look at you both, giggling as if you were teenagers!" Stefan said, "Come on Lena, we only have a certain amount of time to practise! You can talk to your new friends later on!"  
"Ok ok," Lena sighed, and she reluctantly followed Stefan.  
Both Gjoko Taneski and Peter Nalitch waved until they had both turned in the direction of the stage.  
"Now we'll see the stage where you'll be performing," said Stefan, as he lead her out to the stage.  
The Greek entry were already there, they could tell from the chants of 'OPA' that could be heard from the distance.  
Giorgos Alkaios walked up to them, leaving the other members of his band behind, waiting on the stage.  
"Hey!" Lena said to them, "Nice to meet yo-"  
"It's our turn to use the stage now," interrupted Stefan.  
"Not now you don't," Giorgos hissed, taking up a threatening stance to the two Germans, "By the way, thanks for the bailout."  
Stefan could have punched him then and there, but decided against it.  
"No no no," Stefan returned the stance, "I said that it's OUR turn to use the stage now."  
By this time, the rest of the band had come down from the stage, there were about six of them, all crowded around Stefan and Lena.  
"C-Come on Stefan," said Lena, "They can use the stage, let's go and wait in the aquarium and look at the fish while we're waiting..."  
And so the two of them went into the aquarium. A whole corridor dedicated to a massive tank of fish. The corridor was dimly lit with a blue-ish light. Fish swam around peacefully between seaweeds and castles.  
"You can be so stubborn sometimes," Lena said, tapping on the glass of the aquarium. "You shouldn't get yourself into trouble while you're here..."  
"What?!" Stefan yelled, "They started it! It was our turn to be on the stage! And then they started making provocative comments! I won't stand for this! If he didn't have his army of super Greeks with him, then I'd show him-"  
"Come on," Lena laughed, "You wouldn't even be able to take on one. Don't kid yourself."  
Stefan seemed taken aback by this comment.  
"I'll complain to the European Broadcasting Agency!" Stefan continued his rant, "God damn Greeks! GOD DAMN!"  
"Come on," Lena attempted to calm him down, "It doesn't matter-"  
"It does matter!" Stefan said.  
"You're shouting all over this place," Lena replied, her smile from before vanished, "No one wants to hear your diatribe."  
"Yes... very well..." Stefan quietened down, "Maybe we should leave this empty aquarium and meet some of the other contestants."  
"Well, you were right before Stefan," Lena said, watching the fish swim in circles, "We have plenty of time to do that. The effect of this place is so calming, I want to stay..."  
"They're only fish, besides, you haven't seen the Serbian entry yet,"  
"Really? What's so special about the Serbian entry?"  
"It's an absolute joke, and the guy who's singing it looks like a girl." Stefan smiled at his own tasteless joke.  
"What? Who said that?" a voice echoed from the distance. They were not alone in this aquarium.  
Milan Stankovic looked out from behind one of the glass tanks.  
The two Germans looked on in shock. What were the chances that the person they were talking about was right here with them, in this aquarium that seemed so quiet?  
"I...I...Is that really what you think?" Milan asked, a geniune concern in his voice.  
"Ah....uh....er..." Stefan was at loss for words, he had just learned an important lesson. Never say things about others if you haven't checked who's listening.  
"Well?" Milan asked, "Come on. Is that really what you think? Come on, I can take it."  
"Err...uh..." Stefan was upset at being caught out.  
"Ah, don't listen to them Milan," another voice came from the side of the room.  
"How many are there?" Stefan thought to himself.  
A man came out wearing a golden jacket, and stood by Milan.  
"They're just jealous, I suppose," he said, his golden jacket almost looked like it was glowing in the dark room..  
"Hey there!" Lena beamed, always exited at meeting new people, "My name is Lena, nice to meet you!"  
"Ah, hey!" said Milan, "I'm Milan Stankovic, the Serbian entry, and this here is Michael von der Heide, Switzerland's entry!"  
"Always a pleasure to meet new people," said Michael, shaking Lena's hand, "I've heard lots of good things about you and the German entry this year."  
"Why thank you!" said Lena, happily.  
"But..." said Milan, pointing at Stefan, "Who is this making comments so rude about me?"  
"I'm Stefan Raab," said Stefan, "And... to be honest Milan, sometimes the truth hurts."  
"Well... you didn't have to be so blunt about it," said Milan, sadly.  
"You just said you could take it! Anyway, I'm truly sorry, I suppose," which was about as much as an apology as one could get out of Stefan.  
"Ok... I guess... it doesn't bother me..." Milan looked truly hurt by the comments, despite his claims to the contrary.  
"Sorry Milan," said Lena, "He doesn't mean it. He's a big softie when you get to know him."  
"No I'm not," Stefan muttered.  
Suddenly, one of the blue lights, which had been flickering on and off, suddenly burst back into life. The bright blue light reflected against the Swiss's golden coat.  
Everyone shielded their eyes from the bright flourescent glow.  
"Ooops," said Michael, "Perhaps this jacket wasn't such a good idea."  
"God damn it," snapped Stefan, "You didn't even make it through to the final. Go back to Switzerland, there's no point in you being here."  
"Hey," Lena yelled, "Don't be mean! He can stay if he wants! Gjoko Taneski is still here, and he didn't make it through to the final!"  
"Gjoko Tan- who?" Stefan asked.  
Like I said, friendly, but forgettable.  
Suddenly, a crash was heard from outside the aquarium.  
The floor shook slightly and the fish swam around in panic.  
"What was that?" yelled Milan, as they all ran out of the aquarium and to the stage.  
There was now a strange hole in the stage, and no sign of the Greek band.  
"This hole looks like it was cut with some sort of saw," said Stefan, looking at the hole.  
"Help!" cried a familiar voice from inside the hole of the stage. It was Giorgos Alkaios.  
"Haha!" laughed Stefan, "Look who has the upper hand now!"  
"Are you so horrible to everyone you meet?" asked Michael.  
"What?" Stefan asked, "Oh, no. These guys are twats. We've met them before, haven't we Lena?"  
"Yes, but... we should still help them..." Lena said with a far more serious tone than she usually portrays.  
"Help!" Giorgos yelled again, "Help us out of here!"  
"They're too far down to reach," said Milan, "We'll have to go and get help."  
"Ok," said Stefan, "You two go and get help. In fact, I'll come with you, Lena, stay with them, we'll be back in a minute!"  
And the three ran off down the corridor.  
Lena glanced down the hole.  
"Are you all alright?" asked Lena, her voice echoing down the deep hole.  
"We're ok," said Giorgos, "There's some sort of strange floor beneath us, like a bouncy castle of something, have the others gone to get help?"  
"Yes," Lena replied, "They should be back soon."  
Meanwhile, Stefan, Milan and Michael had all ran into the main hall.  
"Help!" yelled Milan, jumping up and down, "Help! There's been a terrible accident!"  
Everyone in the room turned to look at them.  
"You're all overreacting," Stefan muttered.  
"You really don't like those Greek guys, do you?" Michael asked, "Can't you let go of the past for ten seconds?"  
"If you met them you'd understand," Stefan hissed.  
Milan had everyone in the room's attention, and soon, everyone in the stadium was rushing off to the stage, so that they could get a look at the hole.  
Lena heard footsteps in the distance.  
"Ah, guys," she began, "You're back-"  
She stopped when she saw that the whole of the room had come into the stadium to get a look at the hole in the stage. It was like an army of Eurovision entrants.  
"Hey," Giorgos shouted up, "We're down here!"  
The Netherlands entrant, Sieneke, pulled out her mobile phone and began filming the hole.  
"Awesome..." she said, as she zoomed in with her camera.  
"Excellent that you'd all rather film and stare at the hole than help poor Giorgos and his friends," said Daniel Diges, as he came over with rope that had been left over from one of his performances earlier that day, "Hey you lot, grab onto this. One at a time though."  
They did as told and soon they were all standing on the ground with the others.  
"Hey, thanks," said Giorgos, smiling, "You too, Lena."  
Lena returned the smile.  
At that, Giorgos came over to her and gave her a hug.  
"I'm sorry about before," said Giorgos.  
"It's ok," smiled Lena, "At least you're all alright now."  
\----  
"It must have been someone here!" Peter Nalitch's voice flooded the room, "No one else has access to this stadium but us!"  
Peter seemed to have assumed the role of 'leader' for the short time the entrants were in Oslo.  
"Unless someone snuck in while we weren't looking," said Gjoko, "The door isn't locked."  
But, like many of Gjoko's comments, this went unnoticed.  
"It could have been any of you..." Giorgos said, "Except for us."  
"Unless you were pandering for attention," Stefan hissed.  
"It seems to be you who is constantly 'pandering for attention'," Giorgos growled.  
"Hey!" Lena said, snapping her fingers, "Break it up you two!"  
The two gave each other an angry glare before moving to opposite sides of the room.  
Lena sighed.  
"We have to get along for now, ok?" she said, looking at them both, "It's only for another day."  
"I'm afraid it's for a few more days, Lena," said Peter, jumping off the chair he was standing on and moving over to the center of the room, "Because of the accident, we've had to postpone the Eurovision final until tommorow. We'll have to get the stage fixed, and then we can continue."  
"Oh dear," said Sieneke, "It can't be helped, I suppose."  
"Such a shame," said the British entrant, Josh Dubovie. There seemed to be a hint of sarcasm in his voice, but Lena couldn't quite make it out.  
"The news have already picked up on this story," said Peter, gesturing to the main entrance, "Can you hear that?"  
The swarms of Norwegian papparazzi that had gathered around the entrance to interview Giorgos Alkaios and his friends was growing by the second.  
"We'll handle this," said Giorgos, happy with the attention, as he lead his band outside and into the flash of cameras that awaited them.  
The journalists and news reporters cheereed as Giorgos and his band stood before them.  
Peter turned to everyone still in the arena.  
"We should be getting back to the hotel," Peter said, "Before the police arrive. They want this place empty for their investigation."  
And so, they all snuck out of the back door, and headed to Oslo Hotel.  
"Welcome back!" said the hotel manager, on seeing the Eurovision entrants arrive in the hotel, "Has the competition finished so soon? Are you all leaving?"  
"No, no," said Peter, "There's unfortunately been, an accident..."  
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" said the hotel manager, who was shocked.  
"It's quite alright," said Peter, "No one was hurt, but the Eurovision final will be postponed until tomorrow."  
"Ah, it's ok," said the hotel manager, faking relief, "You can stay as long as you want!"  
And so they all went back upstairs into their rooms.  
The Romanian entry, Paula Seling and Ovi, where busy practising on a piano that was in the far corner of the corridor.  
"Ah, those are the wrong notes Ovi!" Paula giggled, as Ovi's fingers dashed about frantically on the keys of the piano.  
"Well," Ovi looked up at his musical partner, "This is the wrong type of piano, you know."  
Yet he still attempted to play their song on this strange hammer-piano.  
Milan Stankovic was walking along the corridor to his room when he bumped into Juliana Pasha, the Albanian entrant.  
Relations between Serbia and Albania had been tense for quite some time now, and they were both thinking about one thing... Kosovo.  
However, Milan seemed ready to let it slide, Serbia did own Kosovo, after all.  
"Hey there..." Milan said uneasily, "I'm Milan Stankovic."  
Juliana eyed him nervously.  
"We can forget politics for a while... can't we?" Milan asked, extending his hand for the Albanian to shake.  
"Just go to hell, Serbian," and with that, Juliana stormed down the corridor, and went into her own room.  
Eva Rivas, the Armenian entrant, was standing nearby, watching them.  
"Well, do you have anything to add to that?" Milan asked her.  
"What?" Eva said, "Oh no, no. Good luck in the contest, Serbia."  
As she walked down the corridor, Milan could have sworn he heard her whisper "You're gonna need it," but decided to let it drop and went into his room.  
Meanwhile, Lena was sitting on the bed of her room, listening to everyone else.  
"I can't believe that the final's been postponed," Stefan said, "Damn Greeks, I bet they have something to do with it."  
"Be quiet..." said Lena, "And listen."  
"For what?" Stefan asked.  
"You'd be surprised at what you can hear if you just stayed quiet for a few minutes..." Lena replied.  
Shouts of "Praise the lord!" and "Repent your sins!" were flooding from Juliana's room.  
"Wow Lena, that was truly amazing," Stefan's sarcasm was seething through his comment.  
Stefan then stood up.  
"I'm going for a walk around Oslo, ok?" Stefan said, "See you in a bit!"  
"Bye," Lena said, and with that, he left the room.  
"I wonder what I can do for a while," Lena wondered.  
She looked out of the window, and saw the snow falling gently against the black night.  
She saw Stefan Raab standing outside, down below. He turned and saw her in the window of the hotel and waved to her.  
"Perhaps I can explore the rest of this hotel..." she thought to herself, slipping out of the door and into the corridor.  
She walked along until she heard a voice coming from one of the rooms.  
There was a union jack hung on the door.  
"This must be Josh Dubovie's room..." she thought to herself.  
"Yes, yes..." Josh's voice was faint, as if he was trying to keep quiet, "We did it. They don't suspect a thing. The Eurovision final will take place tommorow instead of today. We've done it."  
Lena recoiled from the door in shock and horror.  
"But Josh seemed like such a nice guy..." Lena thought, as she pressed her ear up against the door to hear more of what was being said.  
"They won't know what hit them," Josh laughed quietly, "And neither will the Norwegians..."  
Lena was getting more shocked with each and every word, but suddenly, she heard footsteps behind her.  
Lena spun around.  
"What are you doing?" it was last years Eurovision winner, Alexander Rybak, holding his violin in hand.  
"I... uh...." Lena backed away from the door, "Just going back to my room..."  
Alexander watched her until she went back into her room.  
Just then, the door handle turned and Josh came out of his room.  
"What are you doing loitering outside my room?!" Josh seemed shocked.  
"Oh I... um... it was just... I wasn't loitering!" and with that, Alexander walked off, violin still in hand.  
Josh Dubovie took his phone out of his pocket, dialed a number, and whispered into it:  
"I think Alexander Rybak knows something..."  
\----  
"No no no Lena, that couldn't possibly have happened!" Stefan was quite annoyed with Lena's persistent warnings about the British entry.  
"I was there, Stefan!" Lena snapped, "I heard it!"  
"You have such an overactive imagination sometimes, Lena," Stefan smirked, "We're at the Eurovision Song Contest, not a Sherlock Holmes movie."  
"It was him! He cut the stage! I heard him say it!" Lena was trying to keep her voice down, as her room wasn't that far from Josh Dubovie's.  
"Well, if it was him, it's just a shame they didn't take out that padded flooring when the Greeks fell through." Stefan smiled at this thoughts.  
"I'm sick of you going on about the Greeks!" Lena snapped, "This is serious!"  
Stefan simply laughed at this.  
"I'm sure it's nothing serious," he said, "There is probably nothing to worry about. Just your ears playing tricks on you."  
And it was left at that.  
Meanwhile, Alexander Rybak was sitting in the garden outside the hotel.  
He heard someone creeping up behind him and he turned around.  
It was Josh Dubovie.  
"Oh, hello there," Alexander said, putting his violin down on the bench he was sitting on.  
"What did you hear last night," Josh got right to the interrogation.  
"W...What?" Alexander asked, confused.  
"I know you heard something last night," Josh hissed, "I know you heard something."  
"No no no," Alexander said, "I didn't hear anything. It was Lena who was hanging around there, I was just talking to her."  
"Lena..." Josh growled, as he turned away from Alexander and stormed back into the hotel.  
BOOM!  
Lena heard the explosion from upstairs in her room.  
"What was that?" Stefan asked.  
"I'm not sure..." but Lena went over to the door and turned the lock, just in case.  
"The British are coming! The British are coming!" Lena could hear the Swiss entrant running about outside shouting.  
"What's wrong?" Lena unlocked the door and opened it slightly.  
"It's Josh," Michael replied, "He's knocking over all the plant pots in the hotel and kicking at the walls!"  
Suddenly, they heard loud footsteps banging up the stairs.  
"Oh no!" yelled the Swiss entrant.  
"Get in!" Lena replied, opening the door and pulling him in, before locking it again.  
But luckily, it was not the Brit, but just Juliana and Milan, running away from the Brit's mounting devastation.  
"Repent your sins for the Lord hast commeth!" Juliana yelled, holding her Bible high above her.  
"What's going on out there," Lena shouted to them.  
"Hey, let us in your room Lena, it's the only one that locks!" shouted Milan, knocking on the door.  
"Ok, ok," said Lena, opening the door and letting the Albanian and Serbian entrants inside.  
Now they were both in the same room, they eyed each other cautiously.  
"The Lord has possesed Josh with the devil's soul as punishment for the sins of the Serbians!" she yelled, waving her Bible around.  
Knock knock.  
Everyone froze.  
"H...Hello?" it was Peter Nalitch.  
They all breathed a sigh a relief, but at the same time, wondered where the Brit was. Was he still continuing his rampage?  
"Do you want to come in?" Lena asked, "This is the only room that locks."  
"O..ok," he replied, "We could try and escape the hotel, however."  
Peter was always trying to be the leader.  
Lena opened the door and he stepped inside.  
"Only Jesus and the Lord can save us from the Serbian sin!" Juliana continued her preaching.  
"More like Greek sin," Stefan muttered.  
Meanwhile, Gjoko Taneski was sitting by the pond in the hotel garden.  
Alexander Rybak came up to him.  
"Hey there," Rybak said.  
"Oh," Gjoko was looking at the fish, "Hey Alex."  
"You know hardly anyone calls me that," Alexander giggled.  
But then, Alexander adopted a more serious mood.  
"That Josh has sure been acting strangely lately," Alexander remarked.  
"Yes, well," Gjoko said, "He sure is a strange one."  
"Anyway, there's some letters for you by the door, they're all in Macedonian so I have no idea what they're about."  
"Oh, that's ok, I'll go and get them. Thanks for telling me, Alex."  
And with that Gjoko went back into the hotel.  
Meanwhile, Josh angrily kicked over a plant pot, sending it's contents, a rare edelweiss flower, and some compost, smashing to the ground.  
"How could anyone have overheard me?!" he thought, "I should have been more careful!"  
Suddenly, his mobile rang.  
He knew who it was.  
He thought about not answering it, but no, he had to answer it.  
"Hello?" he said.  
"Yes," replied a gruff voice on the other end of the phone, "You've done very well so far. Have you disposed of the Norwegian violinist?"  
"N...No, sir," he answered, "It isn't him who heard us. It was that German girl, Lena."  
"Well," the voice replied, "You know what they say, one world cup and two world wars. Now let's rid Germany of their Eurovision entrant."  
"Yes sir," Josh answered and slipped the phone back into his pocket.  
Meanwhile, the Estonian band, Malcolm Lincoln, were singing in their room, practising what arguably was the worst entry of the night.  
"Why do you think we didn't get through?" Robin asked Madis.  
"I don't know," Madis replied, "Our song was the best, obviously. But there is a lot of bloc-voting and people just don't like Estonia."  
"People don't seem to like us Poles either," said Marcin Mrozinski, the Polish entrant, "I thought that, perhaps we could get the sympathy vote, you know, after our president died."  
"Woah, that comment could be interpreted... differently..." Robin seemed shocked at this.  
"I know, I know," Marcin said, realizing the impact of his words, "I just thought, you know, maybe something good could come out of this tragedy. I wish more people would like Poland, but we are often left behind and forgotten about. I mean, all the baltic satellites are so busy voting for Russia, no one wants to vote for we Poles."  
"...do you count us as a 'baltic satellite', Marcin?" asked Madis.  
"Well uh..." Marcin hadn't thought of that. Was Estonia a baltic satellite?  
"It doesn't matter," said Robin, breaking the silence, "I think we are all influenced by the Russians in some way. And it is a good thing."  
They left it at that.  
Soon after, they heard some banging, but they ignored it.  
"Perhaps it is Norwegian culture to bang around at night?" Marcin wondered.  
Josh was still busy looking around the hotel.  
He was opening the rooms, one by one, a lot seemed to be empty.  
He could open the rooms easily, checking to make sure it wasn't Lena's room. He needed to find Lena, after all, she knew his secret.  
He came to the final door.  
"It's always the final door," he thought, as he tried to open the door. But it was locked.  
"Trust it to be the only room in the hotel that locks," he thought to himself.  
"W...W..Who is it?" a shaky voice replied, it was Lena.  
Josh walked away from the door, they wouldn't let him in if he said anything.  
"What is with that Josh guy?" asked Milan, whispering under his breath.  
"I have no idea," Stefan replied, "Maybe Lena was right after all, and he was the one who cut the stage..."  
"What?" everyone in the room apart from Stefan and Lena asked. Lena had only told Stefan about this.  
"Ok...," Lena began, "Well, I'll tell you..."  
\----  
"And that's what happened!" Lena had finished telling her tale.  
"That's terrible!" said Juliana Pasha, still clutching her Bible, "Those poor Greeks could have been hurt, I will pray for Josh's soul, I just hope he is not a lost cause..."  
Milan Stankovic laughed at her overly religious attitude and constant Bible bashing.  
"You are a lost cause too," Juliana spat, "But I shall not be praying for your soul, Serbian."  
Her hatred for the Serbian grew with every passing moment she spent in the same room as Milan Stankovic.  
Milan edged away from her, eventually ending up on the other side of the room.  
"Look at you, Serbian," Juliana glared, "You worm away from the truth. You've gone away from me because you know it's true."  
"J-J-Just shut the hell up!" Milan snapped, "I don't go on about you being Albanian, so why don't you quit bashing Serbia?!"  
"Ahahahahha," Juliana laughed, "You can't even come up with an insult, so you just tell me to shut up. I can insult Serbia, because Serbia sucks, but no one can think of an insult against Albania."  
"You're a backwards bunch of inbreds with a fetish for horses," Milan growled.  
"People please!" Michael yelled over the two argueing entrants, "We have to work togeth-"  
"Shut up Swiss," Juliana yelled, "Your neutrality is of no use here," she turned back to the Serbian, "How dare you say that, you ignorant Serb."  
"But it's true though, isn't it," Milan said, now thoroughly annoyed at taking Juliana's insults lying down, "You people live in the dark ages, pathetic little Albanians, clutching on to old victories that-"  
"Shut up!" yelled Juliana, who then flung her Bible across the room and it hit Milan Stankovic on the head.  
"Aaaah!" he yelled as he fell to the floor.  
"SERBIAN SCUM!" Juliana was screaming now, as she ran over and started kicking Milan.  
"STOP!!!" yelled Peter Nalitch, as he ran over, trying to break them up.  
Peter pulled Juliana off of Milan, who sat up, dazed.  
"Oww..." Milan stood up from the floor, "I'm calling the police."  
"The police won't help you here, Serbian," Juliana, struggled to get free of Peter's hold, "God damn it! Let go of me, Russian!"  
"Now let's calm down, both of you..." Michael spoke up once more.  
"I've told you to shut up already, Swiss," Juliana yelled in Michael's direction, "So shut up, or you'll be next!"  
"No Christian should act in violence," Stefan said bitterly.  
Juliana glared at him.  
"If you'd seen what they've done. If only you'd seen what the Serbians have done, then it would be a different story. The children, oh god, they shot the children," Juliana glared at Milan, "AND IT'S YOUR FAULT! YOUR PEOPLE HAVE DONE THIS!"  
"I've done nothing," Milan muttered.  
"IF YOU'D HAVE SEEN WHAT THE SERBIANS HAVE DONE!!!" Juliana was yelling now, so loud that Josh could hear her, and he was waiting at the other end of the corridor, trying to think of a plan.  
"Maybe they'll all just kill each other in there, judging from the shouting. That would do my job for me." Josh Dubovie laughed at that, and looked at the room next to him.  
A Norwegian flag hung over the handle.  
This years Norwegian entrant, Didrik Solli-Tangen, was inside, probably practising.  
"He'll get me into that room..." Josh thought, as he turned the handle and went inside the Norwegian's room.  
Didrik was asleep on the bed.  
"Hey," Josh shouted to him, "HEY!"  
"...huh? What?" Didrik looked up at him.  
"Sorry to bother you like this, but I've got a favour to ask you."  
"Shoot." Didrik replied.  
"Well, I need to get into Lena's room. They're playing a game, you see, letting everyone into the room except for me. They'll let you in too. All you have to do is stand by Lena's door, knock, and say "I want to come in", that's when I go in."  
"Hahahaha," Didrik laughed, "What a ridiculous game. Come on Josh, can't you see I'm in bed?"  
"Well I can see that..."  
"Look..." Didrik thought for a moment, "Ok. I'l do it."  
So Josh and Didrik went up to Lena's room.  
Didrik knocked on the door.  
Knock knock.  
Lena's room went silent.  
"Who is it?" Lena called out.  
"It's me," Didrik said, "Didrik. Can I come in?"  
"Ok, sure thing Didrik!" Lena smiled, relieved, as she opened the door.  
But it wasn't Didrik who came through the door, it was Josh.  
Josh relocked the door.  
"Nice," said Josh, "A door anyone can lock, as long as they're inside the room..."  
Josh laughed.  
"AAAAH!" Lena shouted, "It's Josh! Didrik, what's going on!?!!"  
"Josh said to do it," Didrik replied, "Now he can bug you instead of me."  
"Didrik this is a serious matter!" Lena yelled, "Didrik, listen to me!"  
"Aw, Lena," said Didrik, "You people woke me up for this?"  
"DIDRIK!" Lena shouted, "It was Josh who cut the stage! I heard him say it himself! And now he is here to silence us!"  
"What?!" Didrik shouted.  
Didrik tryed to open the door, but it was locked.  
"Lena!!!" shouted Didrik, "Hold on, I'll call the police!"  
"It's too late for that..." Josh laughed, "Gjoko, come in here!"  
Gjoko was hanging around outside of the door, reading the Macedonian letters he had been sent.  
"Ok," said Gjoko, putting the letters down on the table.  
Josh unlocked the door for Gjoko and then locked in again.  
"Gjoko?!" Lena asked, shocked, "What are you doing here?"  
"I got my friend, Gjoko here, to cut the stage for me," Josh laughed maniacally.  
"G..G....Gjoko... how could you?" Lena felt betrayed by Gjoko.  
"I...I'm so sorry," Gjoko hung his head in shame, "I... I made sure no one was hurt..."  
"He did it because if he didn't I would shoot someone to postpone the Eurovision," Josh laughed, "Hahahaa, silly Macedonian."  
"Why do you want to postpone the Eurovision?!" Peter asked.  
"Well, you guys are going to be here for a long time, so I suppose I can tell you," Josh said, but the entrants felt confident that Didrik would find the police on time, "And don't worry about Didrik. I've cut all the phone lines in the hotel. You all left your mobile phones in the box, which I have taken. The hotel staff are on vacation. All the Eurovision entrants are inside the hotel, which I have locked, and I am the only one with the keys..."  
Meanwhile, Didrik pounded the emergency service number into the phone again and again.  
"Pick up..." Didrik pleaded with no-one, "Please... pick up."  
But there was no response, the phone just let out a monotone beep.  
Beeeeeeeep.  
As he looked down at the phone, he saw why. The wires were cut.  
He frantically ran around trying to find another phone in the hotel, but, when he did, he saw that the wire to this one was cut as well.  
"No..." yelled Didrik, "This can't be!"  
The entrants in the hotel room were now very worried.  
"So, I suppose I can tell you the story," Josh continued, obviously revelling in his evil role, "About why we Brits want to postpone the Eurovision Song Contest. See, we have more important things to do than the Eurovision. Us entering in the Eurovision was merely a guise for what we really want to accomplish here in Norway. We're after something much greater. The diamonds of Norway."  
"But those are just a myth!" interrupted Stefan  
"No," Josh smiled an evil smile, "They are very real. And they are ours..."  
Josh laughed again.  
"And if you don't think we'll kill to keep our diamonds," he growled as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a revolver, "Then you are sorely mistaken."  
"What are you doing?!" Peter Nalitch yelled, as Josh aimed his gun at Lena.  
"You first," Josh laughed, "You first."  
"Come on Josh," said Gjoko, "You don't want to do this."  
"I'll do it," snarled Josh, but as he pressed the trigger, Stefan Raab jumped in Lena's way.  
"NO!" Lena yelled, as Josh pulled the trigger.  
Click.  
Nothing happened.  
"I took the bullets out Josh," Gjoko said, proudly, "No one dies tonight."  
"Oh, thank you Gjoko!" Lena ran over to Gjoko and gave him a huge hug, "Thank you..."  
Peter Nalitch grabbed Josh and restrained him to the floor.  
"Where are the keys?" Peter growled.  
"I'm not telling you, Russian," Josh said menacingly.  
"They're hidden in one of the flower pots," Gjoko answered the question.  
"You turncoat," Josh hissed, "You don't even know who's side you're on, Macedonian."  
"Come on everyone, follow me, we'll find them," Gjoko ignored Josh's comment, "Peter, hold Josh here, we'll get the police,"  
Gjoko had expected a lot of people to stay with Peter, but they were all too frightened by what had just happened to stay anywhere near Josh Dubovie.  
They all walked down the corridor, leaving Peter and Josh in the hotel room.  
"...Stefan..." Lena said, "You... you jumped in the way, y...you could have got hurt,"  
"Ha," Stefan laughed nervously, "Lena. While I am here with you, I am technically your guardian, how could I ever live with myself if anything ever happened to you?"  
"Awww," Lena smiled, "Thanks Stefan."  
"No, I mean it," Stefan said, "No one has ever stuck by me as long as you have. You're my only friend in the world."  
"Your sentimentality is really nice and all," interrupted Milan Stankovic, "But... shouldn't we be like, you know, finding the hotel keys?"  
"Ah, yes!" Gjoko said, "Look in all the flower pots, he has hidden them somewhere!"  
"Yes," said Michael, pulling a flower out of one of the pots, "But where?"  
"I have no idea," answered Juliana, who was also pulling out a flower.  
By now, there was soil and flowers all over the floor.  
Milan Stankovic saw his mobile phone on the floor, picked it up and tried to dial the police.  
"No signal..." he whispered, the walls of the hotel seemingly blocking the transmission.  
Meanwhile, Gjoko had gone into one of the other rooms, where there were a lot of flower pots.  
Didrik was still looking around for a phone, and jumped with a start when he saw Gjoko.  
"Gjoko!" said Didrik frantically, "Gjoko please, it's terrible! Josh cut all the phone line-"  
"I know, I know," Gjoko replied, "Peter has restrained him, we just need to find the keys..."  
Gjoko picked up one of the flower pots and heard a distinctive jangling sound.  
He reached into it and pulled the keys out.  
After he unlocked the front door to the hotel, he dialed the phonebox outside.  
"Hello?" he asked, "Is this the Norwegian Police?"  
"Yes," replied a voice on the other end of the phone, "This call is coming from the hotel for the Eurovision, correct?"  
"Yes yes," Gjoko replied, "Please come, something terrible's happened!"  
"Wait, wait, what's happened?"  
And so Gjoko explained the story.  
"Ok," replied the police officer, "We'll be right over,"  
Meanwhile, Peter still had Josh restrained on the floor.  
"You thought you could get away with it, did you?!" Peter yelled.  
"Hahahahahaa," Josh merely laughed, "We will get away with it!"  
And at that, Josh jumped up, freeing himself from Peter's grasp and ran down the corridor.  
"NO!" Peter yelled, as he chased Josh through the hotel.  
Josh ran down the flight of stairs and out of the door, into the outside world, but was only greeted by the sounds of police sirens.  
"Get him!" Peter yelled, as Josh ran down the road, only to be reprimanded by one of the police officers.  
"You're coming with us," the police snarled.  
The other Eurovision entrants looked on, as Josh was put into the car.  
"Get Gjoko!" Josh yelled, "He did this with me!!!"  
"Well?" the police officer asked, "Did Gjoko do this with him?"  
Gjoko felt worried, would he go to jail for this?  
"No," Lena said, "He's with us."  
"Ok," the police officer went back into the car, "Josh Dubovie, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law."  
And so they all looked on as the police car drove down the road and vanished out of sight.  
\----  
It was now the day of the contest, and all the entrants sat in the green room, preparing for their big moment.  
They had all been brought together on this night, so many people from so many countries, all in one room.  
The presenters of the Eurovision had to explain that the United Kingdom had been disqualified from the Eurovision this year, due to the events of last night.  
They didn't need to say it, it had been all over the news ever since it had happened.  
"The police are guarding this contest very carefully," whispered Gjoko, "They'll make sure nothing happens like last night. Thanks for covering for me, by the way."  
"Oh, we couldn't rat you out," Lena giggled, "Not after you saved us yesterday."  
Alexander Rybak jumped off the stage. He had just performed Fairytale to the crowd.  
"Thank you!" he said, as the crowd applauded.  
"And now," said Erik Solbakken, one of the Eurovision presenters, "It's Russia's turn to impress us!"  
"Well," said Peter Nalitch, "Looks like I'm first..."  
He stepped out of the green room and onto the stage.  
The boos and jeers of the crowd came like a torrent over him and his band.  
He had been booed before, in the semi-finals, so it was nothing new, but still.  
He performed his song, and, then, there was some applause. But he could still hear the jeering in the background.  
He wondered why they were booing, was their hate directed at Russia, or at him?  
"Why do they jeer so?" Peter asked the other members of the band, but they had no answer.  
He stepped off and went back into the green room.  
"Daniel Diges," said Erik, "You're next!"  
Daniel stepped up to the stage.  
He knew that whatever happened, he would get a better reception that Peter had just got.  
The crowd cheered and clapped as he sung his song, but suddenly, someone jumped up onto the stage.  
"I'm Jimmy Jump," he said, taking the microphone from Daniel and speaking into it for the whole crowd to hear, "And I want you Spanish to free the Basque! Freedom!"  
"The Eurovision song contest is no place for politics," Daniel replied.  
"And Basque is no place for the Spanish!!!!" yelled Jimmy, as the crowd booed.  
Soon, the Norwegian security guards had grabbed him and were dragging him off the stage.  
"What now?" Daniel asked.  
"Ah, oh dear," said Erik Solbakken, "We're truly sorry." he turned to the camera, "Due to recent... events, Spain will be performing again at the end of the competition. Apologies to the Spanish contestant, we will be dealing with this matter appropiately."  
And so Daniel went back into the green room.  
"Oh wow you guys," he said, "Did you see that?"  
"We saw that," Stefan said, shocked at what had just happened, "What was that?"  
"I don't know," Daniel answered, "But we get to perform again at the end of the competition!"  
Peter Nalitch was sitting on the floor, looking at the exit from the stadium.  
Lena went up to him.  
"Aw, come on Peter," Lena said cheerfully, "Don't be upset."  
"How can I not be upset?" he answered sadly, "They all booed. No one likes us."  
"I like you," Lena smiled, "Come on, cheer up!"  
"How can I, when I get a reception such as this?"  
"Come on," Lena said, "Don't be so hard on yourself, it wasn't bad at all."  
"It's easy for you to say that, though," Peter said, "Everyone likes you, the whole crowd cheer at even just a mention of your name."  
"Oh come on, they don't like me that much..."  
"They do, Lena, I think you're going to win,"  
"A...A...Are you... serious?"  
"Yes Lena, very serious," by this time Lena was sitting with him on the floor, "Everyone is going to vote for you. Who would vote for us?"  
"I'm sure lots of people will," Lena replied, but she saw the sadness on Peter's face, "Look, if it makes you feel better..."  
She slipped her phone out of her pocket and dialed a number.  
"Thank you for calling the Eurovision song contest, you have voted for Russia."  
Peter looked up at her.  
"Thank you," he whispered, "You can cheer anyone up."  
They sat there together for a while.  
"Shouldn't you be, you know, waiting for your turn?" Peter asked, finally breaking the silence.  
"I'm number 22," Lena answered, "I'll be waiting around for at least another hour. How about we go back to the green room? Your band must be wondering where you are."  
"Of course," he said, and they both went back to the green room together.  
"And now, number 22, Germany! Here is Lena Meyer-Landrut, with her song, Satellite!" Erik said, the crowd cheering and clapping louder than ever.  
"Good luck," said Stefan, as Lena made her way to the stage.  
Lena got the best reception of the night, with most of the audience actually singing along to her song.  
The audience had a sea of German flags, as they sang along with her.  
By then, it was clear who the winner would be.  
"Wow, look at this one," said one of the police officers who was guarding Josh Dubovies jail cell.  
"Yeah," said the other police officer, "She's a winner, for sure..."  
The two police officers were so busy watching the Eurovision that they had left the keys inside Josh's jail cell.  
"Time to make my escape," Josh thought as he quietly snuck out of the police station and onto the dark streets of Oslo.  
\----  
"And twelve points goes to.... Germany!" said the jury from Denmark.  
Germany was at the top of the leaderboard, well above the runners up like Turkey and Greece.  
"Look at us!" Lena said, "We've got so many points!!!!"  
Next was the voting from Belarus.  
"8 points goes to... Germany!" said the Belarusian representative.  
"If eight points have already gone to Germany..." Stefan wondered, "Who can the other points be going to?"  
"10 points goes to... Ukraine!"  
"Thank you Belarus!" Alyosha, the Ukrainian entrant, shouted.  
"And finally, 12 points goes to...."  
Everyone waited in anticipation as Belarus had the last vote of the night.  
"Russia!!!"  
"Oh my god!" Peter Nalitch shouted, shocked that he had been given twelve points by anyone.  
The crowd began to boo and jeer, much as they had done before.  
"Don't listen to them," said Lena.  
"Yeah," said Artsem, part of the Belarusian entrant '3+2', "We like you."  
"Thanks for the twelve points, Belarus," Peter said, "We owe you one."  
"And well, that wraps up the voting!" said Erik Solbakken, "And the winner is... of course, Lena Meyer-Landrut, from Germany!"  
"You did it!" Stefan said happily.  
"Oh my god!" Lena yelled, jumping up from her seat, as the whole green room clapped and cheered for her.  
But their cheers were nothing compared to the enourmous flood of approval from the crowd when she stepped back onto the stage for a second time.  
"This is so crazy," Lena said into the microphone, "Thank you Europe!!! Thank you! Danke!!!!"  
And with that, Lena performed her song again, this time holding a German flag.  
"I never want this night to end," Lena thought to herself.  
"That was amazing," Juliana Pasha commented on Lena's performance.  
"It sure was," replied Milan Stankovic, "How about we try this again?"  
Juliana looked at the Serbian for a while, but this time, it was not a look of malice.  
"Well..." Juliana began.  
"Come on," laughed Milan Stankovic, "Doesn't the Bible say that 'all men are created equal'?"  
"I...It sure does..." Juliana said, giving Milan a hug, "I'm sorry, Serbian."  
"It's ok," Milan replied, "I just hope that one day, we can all learn to get along like this."  
Just then, Lena came back into the room.  
"Hey you guys- wait a minute, have Juliana and Milan made up?" she asked, confused.  
"They sure have," Michael said, waving a Swiss flag.  
"I'm sorry about what I said to you too, Swiss," Juliana said.  
"That's alright," said Michael, accepting her apology.  
"This is awesome," said Peter, who was also waving a flag, but a Russian one, "All of us countries learning to get along,"  
"Maybe it's time I make up with someone too," said Stefan, as he went towards the Greek entry, "What do you say, Giorgos?"  
"We say, a-ok!" laughed Giorgos Alkaios and his band.  
And with that, they all got together in a big Eurovision group hug.  
\----  
Lena and Stefan overlooked the Oslo canal. A white mist settled on the water.  
"I can't believe I won!!!" she squealed.  
"Neither can I," Stefan said happily, "I'm very proud of you."  
"And we're so very proud of you," said a voice from behind them. It was Terry Wogan.  
"Terry Wogan?" Lena said, shocked, "What are you doing here? I thought you had given up on Eurovision!"  
Suddenly, Josh Dubovie ran out of the trees towards them.  
"How dare you insult us like this!" yelled Josh.  
"Calm down, Dubovie," Terry said, "Maybe we should get our property back after all..."  
"You mean, the diamonds?" Josh asked.  
"There are no diamonds, you fool! I only said that so you would go along with being the Eurovision entrant this year. We have no further use for you." Terry said, "By 'our property' I mean Lena here."  
"What?!" asked Lena, shocked.  
"Leave Lena alone!" Stefan yelled.  
"Oh, I see," Terry said, "You still haven't told her, have you?"  
"She has no need to know," Stefan growled, "This is your fault!"  
"Hahahahaha," Terry laughed, "Oh Lena, wouldn't you like to know the story of your own creation?"  
"What are you talking about?" asked Lena.  
"Well, it's very simple," Terry began, "A long time ago, we decided that we would build a robot, a robot that would help us win Eurovision and bring in money for Britain by the bucketload. We built it in a self-contained military base, hidden by the cliffs of Dover. It was a Light Efficient Nanobot Automaton, or LENA, for short."  
Terry glared at Stefan.  
"Of course, while Stefan was on holiday in Dover, he decided it would be great to explore the forest. The forbidden forest. No matter how many 'trespassers will be shot' signs we put up, people just have to insist on coming in, don't they? He looked through the window of our hidden base and saw us with you, Lena. Heard us talking about how we would win the Eurovision with you. He broke into our base, how, I do not know to this very day, and took you away from us. Why do you think you have a British accent? We gave you that. We were about to give you the other languages as well, but, we had only inserted the German chip inside you before Stefan kidnapped you."  
"Kidnapped?!" Stefan yelled.  
"Stefan!" Lena looked around in shock, "I...I...Is this true?"  
"...I'm sorry Lena..." Stefan muttered, "It is true..."  
"But... but," Lena said, visibly shaken, "I'm not a robot! I would know if I was a robot!"  
"You are a robot, Lena," said Stefan, "That's why, when we were coming here, I took you the long way around the airport. To avoid the metal detectors."  
"But... Stefan..." Lena said, "W...Why didn't.... why didn't you tell me this?"  
"I thought.. it was for the best... if you didn't know..."  
"But I feel so..."  
"What?" Terry snarled, "Human? Well you're not. You're just a machine. Our machine."  
"You set me up!" Josh yelled at Terry, "I was only here for those diamonds! Not for some robot kid!"  
"Well, you shouldn't have been so gullible then," Terry shrugged.  
"No! No Terry! You got me into this, and you'll damn well get me out of it!" Josh yelled, "I'm now wanted by the police!"  
"Well, you shouldn't have gone brandishing your gun in a hotel room full of people," Terry replied.  
"But Graham said on the phone to dispose of..."  
"I told you not to listen to Graham Norton, I am your boss," Terry snapped, "And this is your fault for disobeying orders. Now get out of here before I ring the cops on you."  
And with that, Josh ran off.  
"But... but... but..." Lena still didn't understand all of this.  
"Lena, I'm so sorry," Stefan said.  
"Now, you're coming back with us!" Terry said.  
"No," Lena replied.  
"No no no," Terry snapped, "YOU don't have a say in this. YOU are a robot."  
"She's a German citizen as much as I am," Stefan said, "And she's coming back with us, not you."  
"Who do you think you are? Some sort of hero?" Terry said, "You're just a common thief, stealing our property like this."  
"She's ours now," Stefan said, "Get out of here Terry, you know that you shouldn't be here."  
"But I had to come here, didn't I?" Terry boomed, "When I heard that Josh had been arrested, I had to come. We want our robot back, Stefan. That's all we want. No one has to get hurt, just hand Lena over."  
"No," Stefan said defiantly, "You can't have her."  
"That wasn't a question, Stefan," Terry said, "I said hand her over. Now."  
"No," Stefan said again.  
Meanwhile, Josh was walking down the road, when he bumped into the Norwegian entrant, Didrik Solli-Tangen.  
"What the-" Didrik shouted, "It's Josh!!! Quick! He escaped!!!!"  
The police officers standing nearby were quick to the scene, and Josh was caught. Again.  
As the police was taking him to the police station, they came across Lena, Stefan and Terry Wogan by the canal.  
"What on earth?" said one of the police officers, "Terry Wogan!"  
"Police!" Lena yelled, "You have to help! He's with Josh!"  
And so, with that, Terry was handcuffed as well, and they were both put into the police car.  
"You thought you could get away with setting me up, didn't you," Josh growled, as the police car drove away.  
"Just shut up," Terry said angrily.  
Stefan and Lena watched as the police car blinked out of sight along the horizon.  
"I'm sorry Lena," Stefan said, "I should have told you."  
But instead of being angry like Stefan had expected, Lena came over and gave him a hug.  
"It's ok," Lena said, "Everything will be ok now..."  
\----  
Lena and Stefan looked up at the plane towering above them. They had avoided the metal detectors of the airport, as usual.  
"So..." Lena said, "We're going back now, huh?"  
"Yes," Stefan said, "Back to Germany. We're going home."  
Lena smiled happily, finding out that she was a robot built by the British government to win the Eurovision song contest had not changed her outlook on life one bit.  
"Wait, wait!" said a voice from behind them. It was Milan Stankovic.  
"You weren't going to go without saying goodbye to us, were you?" Milan smiled.  
All the Eurovision entrants were now here, to say goodbye to Lena, and then get on their respective planes home.  
"Of course we wouldn't leave without saying goodbye!" Lena laughed, "We've been through so much together, how could I do that?"  
"Yeah, even with the whole Josh incident," Giorgos said, "This was quite a time. And I'll never forget it."  
"The plane headed for Berlin is departing in three minutes," echoed the speakers overhead.  
"Well, looks like it's time for us to go..." Stefan said.  
"Good luck Lena," Peter Nalitch said, "I'm sure you're going to be a star."  
"Thank you," Lena said, "All of you. You have made our stay here so wonderful."  
And with that, they both went up onto the plane.  
They looked out of the windows and waved to the entrants until the plane took off.  
The plane flew off in the direction of Germany.  
"Stefan," Lena said.  
"Mmmm?" Stefan asked.  
"I'd like to represent Germany..." Lena began.  
"Lena," Stefan said, "You already represent Germany in the hearts and souls of millions."  
"Yes.... well..." Lena continued, "I mean, I'd like to represent Germany... next year."  
Stefan smiled.  
"It would be an honour to return to the Eurovision song contest with you again Lena," said Stefan, "And so we will."  
"Thank you," said Lena, "2011, here we come!"  
Lena sunk back in her seat, safe in the knowledge that she would be back again next year, as the plane flew into the moonlight.

The End.


End file.
